Withers away

via Daily Prompt: Fret

But, in a big city  I am surprised at how things wither away.

How friendships fade, people once your fellow commanders prefer to keep you at arm’s length and how people you would daily speak to would no longer see your messages sent half a month ago. And then what happens when you live alone, to your need for companionship? How does a big city cater to your small, intricate needs?

You kiss and forget.

For some, it grows and burns and forces you to look outside, find solace in external sources and people. For some, it willows and withers, slowly. And permanently.

I am in solace, with my solitude and emptiness as I look down at the lives of others passing by, at the faraway twinkles of life gradually turning brighter, just by a little though, against the ombre skyline that darkens. In this part of the city, there aren’t many highrises allowing the sky to be seen on a daily basis, to even a daily wager. The twinkles grow and convert into a line of steadily lit chain of lights, like a queue of eager stars, waiting for the moon.

And there it comes, a searchlight up in the sky, slowly sneaking into my shelter across the thin white block-printed curtain over to yesterday’s half-finished book, touching upon the framed photograph of mine in an awkward graduation robe, looking all plumped up with the joys of love and friendship.

It passes by the numerous to-do lists in yellow and pink about to fall off the wall while disbelieving that the breeze was about to give them wings.

Mini disasters happen, they make me as frustrated as much as I laugh at myself. But there is a sense of ownership – of my acts, my failures,  my successes. In the form of every successful connection I would make at work and every good portrait I will take. In the form of every new chapati I would make perfectly round and fluffy, every time I would reduce plastic waste and every time I would be sane enough to do my dishes right away.

What’s domesticity anyway? I have come to the conclusion that it’s a trap of eternal feel good when you find happiness even when you fight with your family.

In this case, my larger than life window.

DSC08956
A house in the mountains. Himachal, 2015.

 

 

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